The White Liquid

First things first , I am not a milk lover and this article would be hard to digest for all those die hard milk lovers. So if you have been listed below please refrain from reading this piece.
Yadav uncle
Chintu Mithaiwala
MILKha Singh/Farhaan  Akhtar
Amul lovers and followers of Kurian dynasty
The Doodhwala Community
And all others whose  day is incomplete without a glass of milk and that includes my brother too.

I have done my bit. Warning has been issued.Its not my fault if you read on and get offended.

        All copyright resides with respective holders ... I just copied it from google images ..ignore the neck of the cow

'MILK' is one such 4 letter word which drives a hell lot of people crazy  and I must say that India does have a major chunk of those milk lovers. As for me  I belong to the minority,the group of milk haters. I still remember those endless nights with mummy running behind me with a glass of milk . I  would rather credit my mother than that  glass of milk for my athletic abilities.Generally speaking I have a very bad sense of smell but I don't know why I could  catch the smell of the union of milk and Complan with  ease. Mummy pours  milk into the glass and within no time I am already hiding under the sofa or bed . That's how much I hated this white liquid. The odd times when mummy used to get hold of me I would clip my nose and drink all of it in one go. Then rush to the kitchen and eat 2 teaspoon of sugar.It was milk that taught me that blocking  my nose would reduce my sense of taste.By the time I entered my later part of teenage I completely stopped consuming milk. 

That's my relation with this 'Amrith' . But there is another species and I call them 'ml' (milk lovers) . These ml are known for consuming milk in litres. Glasses ain't  their thing , what they are interested in are jugs of milk. Talking of jugs of milk how can I not drag in the Punjabis. Punjabis are the only people in the world who share an equal love  for milk and alcohol. I won't be surprised if they find out a way to mix milk and alcohol.
Haven't you all seen the movie Bhaag MILKha Bhaag .Truly MILKha Singh is a super man.The way Farhaan gulps in all those milk is one of the greatest  stunts I have ever seen . I have heard that MILKha Singh's coach would  award him  a glass of milk at the finish line , but if 'Bhaag Cheta Bhaag' was ever  to be filmed I bet my coach would have to place milk at the starting point as I am more used to running away from milk.

Lets leave the Punjabis alone for sometime and let them have their glass .. eerrr.. jug of milk . In the mean time lets see the SUHAAG RAAT issue. This custom where the bride brings in milk for the 'suhaag raat' has been haunting people like me for ages.  They say milk  and haldi gives you  strength to start of your married life . True that bridegroom needs a lot  of strength to withstand his wife but ain't there other stuffs that give strength..hmm.. like 'Aloo ke Parathe' ...And if you say milk is used as a symbol of romance then I have just one question for all those milk lovers out there..  Don't you guys think that a bottle of wine would be a more romantic choice??  Well , I can say one thing for sure ,if my wife comes in with a glass of milk on the 'suhaag raat' I would get my divorce papers ready the next morning. (Just kidding... shaadi k baad toh biwi ka hi raj chalta hai ... sookhi roti bhi de toh khana hi padega :)

But whatever I say , my love for milk products exceeds my hatred for raw milk . Be it the cheese  on pizzas or the ghee on paranthas . Who would want to miss out on a delicious paneer dish or the milk sweets. When I was a kid I dearly wished that the 'Gau matha' would directly give us 'kheer' or 'lassi' .Oh ...mmmm... my mouths watering like anything.It would be better if I stop here .I guess my keyboard can't bear any more saliva showers.  


NOTE:   Competitors of Amul have not given me any money .... neither have the producers of Bhaag Milkha Bhaag.